“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.” I’ve waited 8 years and 8 months for the day I can use this Taylor lyric, and finally, that day has come. Yes. I am 22 and I can’t believe it. I remember the days I was 13, listening to this song and wondering what my life would be like when I’m already 22. And here we are now.

A lot has been going on in my mind: mostly academics, some family matters, the things I’m about to check out :P. So forgive me if I can’t organize my thoughts on this post. I am literally writing this 5 hours and 30 minutes before I technically turn 22. By this time tomorrow, I hope this post has seen the light of day.

Long story short, I have not planned anything for my birthday. I have absolutely no idea what to do. No celebration menu was planned. No outfits were prepared. No places were booked. No one was invited. No annual birthday post was drafted. Absolutely nothing. One thing is for sure, I know how Taylor Swift felt when she turned 22—happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. Apologies if I always have a Swift reference; I mean, she owns the age 22. Enough said.

Casting my mind back to this day last year, I promised myself that if the pandemic ends soon, as in December 2020, I am going to have a 22nd birthday with a RED album theme. But then again, COVID is still out and about; and starting a super-spreader event does not sit well with me. It would be a very selfish decision to gather people now that the virus has mutated multiple times. It’s pretty terrifying. I can go shopping and dining to celebrate this day instead. I love my friends and family enough that I don’t want them exposed to a killer virus. I know they will understand.

Right now, I am just counterfactually thinking of what could have been if the virus is not around. I am probably spending my birthday in my internship place, wherever that may be. Maybe I am bound to celebrate my birthday in a fancy buffet with my family in the coming weekend. Perhaps, I’d invite my friends too. What if. What if. I still have this disturbing thought that I am slowly losing my twenties to this pandemic, and I don’t like it. I hate it.

Although this painful thought continuously lingers on my mind, I have to keep reminding myself that my 22nd year has plenty of events in store. As of this writing, I am on my summer term. I am just 2 semesters away from graduation. I am finally graduating from college at 22. I am bound to experience my internship soon, albeit online, I am looking forward to it. I am yet to receive my COVID-19 vaccine soon as I am qualified in the A4 category. Hopefully, I’ll get my jab before 2021 ends. I will vote for the first time next year and I can’t wait to exercise this right. I guess being a Psychology major has helped me rewire my brain every time I have unpleasant thoughts. It helps a lot. See, there are still good things waiting for me even if the pandemic robbed me off of the fancy stuff I wanted. Heck, the things that are about to come are actually more essential than what COVID has taken from me. I mean, should I not be grateful about my education, my health, my career, and politics?

To end this obligatory birthday post: I just want to extend my heartfelt thanks to my family, my friends, my classmates, teachers, and everyone who remembered me today. I am thankful for the birthday messages, greetings, food, and goodies. Thank you, God, for another year. I am eternally grateful for everything.

Happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time,

Andrei

PS: Please register to vote. Let’s make 2022 a better year.